Both:
We're Ryan and Bran, yo;
We're makin' a rap
'Cause we're tired of good videos.
We wanna make some crap!

Bran:
What's the best way to anger all your fans?
Get a bunch of crappy loops and pretend you're a band!
Don't need no talent, no need to sing,
Just rap, turn your hat, and wear some bling!

My name's Bran, fairest man in the land,
I write all the scripts on the back of my hand.
I edit the shots on my good friend Lappy;
I keep him plugged in so he stays happy!

I have long hair but I'm not gay,
I think lowly of people who think that way.
You may find it weird that my mom's never home.
My only friend's Ryan so I'm always alone.

Both:
We're Ryan and Bran, yo;
We're makin' a rap
'Cause we're tired of good videos.
We wanna make some crap!

Ryan:
What's the best way to anger all your fans?
Get a bunch of crappy loops and pretend you're a band!
Don't need no talent, no need to sing,
Just rap, turn your hat, and wear some bling!

My mother used to make me eat at the table,
I love that guy who was born in a stable.
My dad's black and white with a cheesy 'stache,
He killed a scientist for some easy cash.

Some people say I'm violent and I overreact,
But I know it's a fact that I don't give a frack.
I love bagels, hot chocolate, and my trusty gun:
Me and Bran are gonna have some fun!

Bran:
Lappy solo!

Both:
We're Ryan and Bran, yo;
We're makin' a rap
'Cause we're tired of good videos.
We wanna make some crap!

We're lettin' you down, but we're usually weet!
Now we're makin' this rap and admittin' defeat!

We promise you things that'll never be done,
But lyin' to you is half the fun!
We can't make the biggest thriller since Thriller,
so until we can, we're gonna make some filler.